AA Meeting

I saw a guy today whom I've seen a million times, but whom I had never spoken with before. I am one of those people who can see a person once and remember them forever. I see them a couple times, and hey, I should know them right? That's coming from an introvert, might I add, which compounds the tortuous reality that dwells within me. I say torturous because, like I said, I am an introvert, but also because of my tendency to prefer introspection over outgoingness, I often botch my attempts at being friendly to those whom I would like to get to know better.

I walk over to the guy and introduce myself. He looks at me like I just made out with his wife, leaving me hanging, as he rubs his chin in disapproval. Leaves me hanging, dammit! I went out of my way to introduce myself, because I had caught him staring at me many times over the past weeks, yet was shot down right on site.

"Whatcha sellin'?" he says, after rubbing his fat chin for a couple seconds.

I wanted to say that I was selling his birthright to Satan and that he couldn't do a damned thing about it and that maybe he should lose a few pounds, but held my tongue instead, because that is what we are supposed to do in AA. Restraint of pen and tongue, they say. I stepped back and put my hands in my pockets, totally at a loss, not knowing what to do with myself like an obsolete tool, and then just turned and went back to my seat.

I sat there for a minute, but noticed that the guy kept staring at me, rubbing his chin like a goombah. I wanted to leave the meeting, but thought that I couldn't let this rat fink run me off without giving him a good battle of the wits first, so I dug in and decided that I would not be the first to leave.

I finally could bear the weight of his stare no longer, and had to give him a little wave. He looked at me, still rubbing his chin, and then slowly and casually flipped me the bird, as if I had told him he were a shameless douche bag or something. I felt as if someone had slipped LSD in my drink at this point, but continued to look at the guy as if the whole thing was agreeable, and as if I didn't feel nauseous and scared about humanity in general, and then he turned to the guy next to him and that was the last time we looked at each other for the rest of the night.

I went home and pondered yet another interaction which has contributed to my general concern about my interpersonal relationships on this planet.

Why me? I said, but then realized that I help others from going insane by allowing them to heap their malaise and discontent upon my head, as if I were some sort of mule of misfortune, and as a result serve the greater good by being an emotional masochist right here and now.

So, the moral to the story is, if someone dishes unwarranted nastiness out upon you, don't grab the nearest tire iron and work them over like Idi Amin would his closest advisors, but smile and then promptly bitch about it to the nearest person you can. After all, we are here to help each other not go insane. And for that, I am mighty grateful. See you next time.